Citroen C3 1.4 - Oppositelock Review

"AndersSim - V10'ING" (anderssim) 01/12/2014 at 10:49 • Filed to: None

5

5

You know when you talk about women, and how good some of them look, but do you also remember how looks isn't everything? I'm sure you do by now. It's all down to personality, and that's exactly why I didn't choose some of the better looking counterparts I could have bought instead. I went with a Citroen C3 1.4, not because its fast, not because its exiting, not because its pretty, but because its something different, I would even go as far as saying its a bit "hipster".

I have just recently sold my W212 E350 Bluetec Estate to some guy in Germany who was fed up with his F10 520d. Which means my daily-driver is gone, which also means that I have had extraordinary time to get knowing my little French buddy. It both involves being extremely mad, and being extremely happy, when you don't even expect to make it to work every morning, when you get there against all odds you feel like you have been protected by a guardian angel, and that's how you spice up boring week days. But because of this, I also know that this car won't be mine for long, because the car surely is death proof, if you don't drive it.

Well, before getting started at the reviewing part of this REVIEW, you might want to know why I actually chose this car. I grew up with car-Francophile parents through the nineties and the early 00's,the only cars parked in the driveway was French cars, BX's SM's Ami's, hell they even had a DS at some point. Which also means I grew up with the most exiting and dangerous cars in the world. All of the cars I remember had some kind of fault, which only gave them more personality, I actually shed a tear when our last BX was being driven away on a flat-bed because it was totalled by some lady nudging it with her front bumper. As you can see I was marked a future Citroen driver even before I even knew what a Citroen was.

Exterior:3/10

This is one of the most bubbly looking cars in the world, it is certainly out of the usual but this doesn't cover up for it still being ugly. Now it doesn't help that I bought the most scraped spec-wise version you could get by. I will acknowledge that the plastic bumpers doesn't do it justice, and just maybe if they were painted I would end up getting a 4, but this is a review of THIS actual car, and not the model. The only above average design cue I like is the big bubble windscreen. Oh, and I like the hubcaps too, but that's really about it.

Interior: 3/10

As you would imagine with the scraped version, there isn't much to talk about, the interior is bland, and if you like plastic, you will feel like home, and if you like your gear stick to look a "lady-toy" you would feel like being in heaven. I actually have no clue of I should write about this interior. Hmmm. Well, I kinda like how there aren't any dials but only a big screen in front of you informing you of how close you are to death, and I like the storage compartments in the doors because I can fit my gloves in them. Otherwise its pretty bad and tacky, I could play a drum solo on the plastic that's how hard it is. I have seriously run out of words. THAT'S HOW BORING THE INTERIOR IS.

Acceleration: 5/10

This is a 1.4 Litre engine producing around 75 horsepower. It's basically nothing, but in a car made out of tin and foil it feels like a rocket-ship when you put your foot down, and by this point I know you don't believe me, but it's actually quite fun accelerating in, I feel more alive accelerating this than in every car I have ever driven, and yes it might be down to it being made of tin and foil, well, not might, it is. The 0-60 time is around the 15 second mark, but between 0 and 35-40 its pretty peppy and does the job for me on the fun-factor wise.

Braking: 5/10

It does brake when I hit the brake-pedal, and it does brake before hitting the butt of the car infront of me. So I guess that means its totally average and therefore deserves a 5. You do have to press the pedal quite a bit before it actually DO brake, but that also have to be down to the brakes never been replaced since 2004 and around 60k miles.

Ride: 2/10

What went wrong? Seriously Citroen, you was the frontier in suspension even before seatbelts was mandatory, you fitted all your cars with nice air-suspension even up through the nineties, how did it go downhill so fast? Okay, you ditched the air-suspension before the end of the nineties, but wouldn't it been clever to develop a good normal suspension before ditching the air-suspension? NO? This is the absolute worst "suspended?" car I have ever driven, it could have been fitted with wheels made of stone and it wouldn't have made it any worse, it is back shatteringly bad. I'm terrified every time I see a speed-bump.

Handling: 4/10

This is French so of course it is FWD, so it is very nimble to navigate in, i'm actually kind of surprised of how good it is when you compare it to how bad the car is in nearly any other aspect. The Steering-wheel feels like it is directly connect to the front wheels and you really do get instant reaction from the front wheels. But as a person who have never driven a lot of FWD cars I don't know hot to rate it, but I think a 4 is reasonable.

Comfort: 2/10

The seats fitted in the low-spec version could be garden chairs, and not the expensive sort of garden chairs, the low-budget plasticky sort of type, which breakes before the week is over. That pretty much sums up the seats in the Citroen, you don't have any sort of support, if you didn't wear your seatbelt you could end up in the backseats with just a little tap on the accelerator. Not to mention the backseats, its basically a sofa forced into the back of a random car.

Gearbox: 6/10

Without mentioning the "toy"-looking gear stick it's a pretty decent gearbox. Have in mind this car was driving by a lady in her fifties before selling it, and I have an idea that she didn't treat the gearbox nice. Although, its fast, its fun, and it is very well placed, its placed just in the right spot, with just the right length. And most important of all, its fun, and the gear-ratio is well made. Kudos Citroen.

Toys/Gadgets: 1/10

There is NOTHING.

Audio: 2/10

My car doesn't have the original radio, but that doesn't justify how bad the stereo in the car is. Expect any form of bass? Get the hell out of here, expect pure sound? Get the hell out of here. The stereo sounds like something Citroen bought for 1 dollar and fitted it the last day before launching the car. But I can listen to cd-books which is nice, but that's about it.

Value: 5/10

I bought this car because it was something different, I didn't expect it to be good, or even near average, and I was right, its terrible, but it has personality, its a Citroen, and its just as much of a Citroen as the SM. And I really adore it, because its so bad, so ugly, and so dangerous. I really enjoy owning it, even though it won't be for long.

Verdict: 3,4/10

Off-topic:

If you are interested about my second car at the moment, you can find a review of the merc !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! which I wrote a couple of months back.

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If you enjoy my entirely hobby driven writing, I would really appreciate if you took a look on my article series here on Oppo about cars time have forgotten all about !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

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-Amateur > AndersSim - V10'ING 01/12/2014 at 11:11

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That was a fun read to start my Sunday! I especially like the Toys/Gadgets section:

AndersSim - V10'ING > -Amateur 01/12/2014 at 11:16

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That was the hardest section to write, haha. I appreciate your kind words, thanks man.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > AndersSim - V10'ING 01/12/2014 at 11:45

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Nice review. Very honest.

duurtlang > AndersSim - V10'ING 01/12/2014 at 11:53

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After reading this, I do have to wonder; have you got any experience with direct competitors of this car? Like the Corsa, Polo, Yaris or Punto? I like your honesty but it feels like you're comparing it with an E-Class.

AndersSim - V10'ING > duurtlang 01/12/2014 at 12:09

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I only have experience in a Polo as a driver, and passenger in a Corsa. And have in mind its entirely my point of view, and you might be right, I might be a little biased because of my ownership of tons of high-end german cars. But I really did think once or twice before rating it. Not to mention how un-safe it is if you are in a crash, it only received 2 NCAP stars back in 04